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BrokenThere is a girl who denied what's right,
'Cause when she was alone, she couldn't fight.
She started losing hope in everything,
Stopped trying to see what the future might bring.
She gave up on God in Heaven above,
She lost her path from the power of love,
She wanted everything to go away,
She tried to take her life one day.
She felt caged up like a bird,
She screamed so loud, but nobody heard.
Ignored, as if she weren't there,
A feeling of emptiness and despair.
She kept so much bottled up inside,
She always lied so she could hide.
Ashamed for always wanting to die;
She never looked people in the eyes.
Behind her eyes were words left unsaid,
Beneath her clothes was where she bled
When she took that razor to her skin
To release the emotions captured within.
The nights were the loneliest, she always cried.
The last thought at the end of the day: suicide.
She didn't feel important in any way,
"I deserved it," so she'd say.
Deserved the words that hit her like knives,
Wondering why she was
Screamed her pain.I'm tired and I'm a basket case of pity.
Don't look at me.
Don't talk at me.
You can't see me.
I want to close my eyes and invade in my inner city.
Don't dare wake me.
Please hold onto me…
No… you can't see me.
Yes you do see me…
I'm so blind that I'm chaotic.
Wake me! Embrace me! Please!
Can you really see me?
I do want to go to bed.
I'm so weary…
Hold me please…
You can't see me…
Don't mock me…
Please help me…
I won't be able to speak of logic.
I am emotional.
I can't feel me.
I can't hear me.
Look at me…
Don't fret, and just hold me.
Please… even though… we can't see me.
What IfWhat if you had succeeded last year
Took enough to make your world go black
Those three words I would never hear
The friendship we wouldn't have got back
What if I hadn't asked to see you
Had already moved on
Did you want to see me too
Or were you already too far gone
What if you hadn't decided I was important again
I was only a vague memory
Where would we have needed to begin
For you to remember me
What if we hadn't got back together
Would we be better friends
Forget about you, I could never
I don't want this to be the end
True Story... True Story...
Seven months... I don't think I've ever been so happy during my time that I spent with you. But when I woke up one normal summer day, my phone had a message on it from you. It said we needed to talk, so I responded. Moments later I recieved an answer, "I'm breaking up with you... Bye" That was it, not a word more, not a word less.
My entire world suddenly crumbled around me, my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. I locked myself in my room for the rest of the day, hidden beneath the blankets of my bed. I cried for three days and was stuck in depression for the rest of summer...
- - -
When school began once again I saw you in the crowded halls, acting like nothing ever happened, like you didn't care anymore. However, my sadness grew into regret. I came to realize I wasted those seven months with you. You told me we could still be friends. Why would I want to be friends with you? After you broke my heart through a text! Leaving me alone in absolute despai
Notice MeLook up from your desk.
Look up from your book.
Look up from your laptop
or iPod and songs.
Why can't you see me?
Why don't you care?
Why won't you answer my letters?
Do you even know my name?
Do you even recognize my face?
Do you even think of my eyes?
FadingLosing hope in everything,
Don't care what the future brings.
We're all gonna die anyways,
Why not tomorrow, why not today?
Tell me the reason, my purpose in life,
Tell me, why not suicide?
Give me reasons why I should live,
If I took my life, could you forgive?
I'm sorry, I know you thought I was stronger,
But I told you I can't take it any longer.
You told me these things, I told you I'm not,
I tried, I fought, again I lost.
This battle with myself, I've had enough,
Endured so much, depression's tough.
Battling addiction of self-harm too,
You have no idea what I've gone through.
I wanted to tell you.. So many times I'd tried.
"How are you?" "I'm fine," I lied.
When I tried to speak, the right words wouldn't come out,
'Cause for so many years, I filled my mind with doubt.
I was constantly bringing myself down,
Never really felt like I was wanted around.
When the time is right, my life I'll take.
That'll be the last time I break.
UndeterredHere we go again…
Another pointless day,
Another night of Dark Desires holding sway.
Time and again I've gone
Round and round,
Some I win and others I fail,
But ultimately I lose the war.
Ha! What lies!
What good did it ever do?
Who cares if rocking the boat
Who cares if all grow tired
Of my languishing screams?
I'm not here for their entertainment!
It matters not if my life
Is eternally on
Anguish and Shadow,
Tonight we dance
With Sweet Despair.
Tonight we sing
Laments to break
Our lonely hearts,
And echo forlornly
Throughout our Shredded Psyche.
Tonight I don't care.
Tonight doesn't matter.
Neither do my twisted,
My fantasies are my own,
Every last bloody rendering.
FreeI am left here on my own.
Now's not a time to be alone.
All I asked is that you try,
When you know that I may die.
When I'm that hurt, you just run.
You say it's over and you're done.
I reach out for some help,
But I'm left all by myself.
Suddenly a hand takes mine.
Tells me everything will be fine.
But when I look it's not you.
I find that it's someone new.
When I reach out, he's still here.
He starts to quell all my fears.
I share my hurt, I share my pain,
But no longer is it in vain.
As we talk I start to smile.
We talk of your actions so vile.
How could anyone leave a friend,
When they thought it was the end?
Even if it were someone I hate,
I couldn't let death be their fate.
I can't believe how selfish you are,
Leaving everyone you know with a scar.
You hurt everyone that you know.
You blame it on you feeling low.
You'll play it over in your head,
Every single thing you've said,
But even still you'll continue,
Because destroying is what you do.
At least I know it won't be to me.
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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